Showing posts with label Relationship & Wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship & Wedding. Show all posts

Strong Signs that you have forgotten your self-worth in a Relationship or Marriage- Akinkuade Aderonke Ruth







  If you see these signs, you should really be bothered, and it may even be time to move on.

You are best-suited to a life with another person when you are not scared to be by yourself. 
When you have become self-sufficient enough to go through life all by yourself.
That way, your decision to be with someone is a choice in the real sense of the word.

 You know yourself and love the human being you are, you have relationships that are fruitful and healthy and have a circle of people who want your best interests at heart.




All of this builds your self-worth, your esteem and the way you view yourself and your role and place in whatever relationship you decide to get into.


Once you find yourself dropping standards, getting desperate, it is time to watch yourself

The relationships you get into should build you further, increase your self-worth and further solidify your esteem. But if you get into a relationship and somehow begin to doubt yourself, it is not a good sign.

If you see these signs, you should really be bothered, and it may even be time to move on.

1. You do anything, take everything
Relationships are not do or die affairs. It makes sense only when you still have your voice and your power of choice. So do all you can to keep those.

Once you find yourself dropping standards, getting desperate, it is time to watch yourself. You should never beg to be loved, to be appreciated; neither should you let anyone make you feel lesser than you are. You are more important than that and there is someone somewhere willing to live their life proving that to you daily.

2. They no longer respect you and you allow it
Never let anyone disrespect you. If you find yourself condoning it, unable to say anything or do anything about it, there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

People with adequate self-worth speak against disrespect when its being thrown at them.


3. You are worried no one else would want you
It is a trick of your mind, or one programmed into your mind by your partner. Whichever of these is the issue, it is not right.

Toxic relationships: 8 ways to move on after a break up


Your old relationship may not be right for you, but it is not the end of the world. Someone else would want you for sure.

People with the right things in place, and the right self-esteem to boot recognize that their value is intact and that they deserve love. They don’t hesitate to demand it and move on when they are consistently not being treated in the manner they should.



































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Annie’s response to 2Face love message is a must read for Celebrating 7 years Anniversary






2face and Annie idibia



Nigerian actress, Annie idibia, has taken to her Instagram page to celebrate with 2face idibia on their 7th wedding anniversary.

ARA News had earlier reported how 2baba showered praises on his ” African beauty”
The response from Annie is more beautiful and priceless.

According to her, she has never loved anyone the way she loves him.

”Since dem born me….i never LOVE person the way wey i LOVE you ooooooo…
Lost For Caption… But i dey come back !!! This man ehennnnnnnnnnnnn I WILL BE TOTALLY LOST WITHOUT YOU .. Happy ANNIEversary,” she wrote.

”Since dem born me….i never LOVE person the way wey i LOVE you ooooooo…
Lost For Caption… But i dey come back !!! This man ehennnnnnnnnnnnn I WILL BE TOTALLY LOST WITHOUT YOU .. Happy ANNIEversary,” she wrote.


13 Process To Overcome Heartbreak with Immediate Effects.


Image result for Steps To Overcoming Heartbreak

Love is in the air and while for those in happy relationships, it is one of the best and most memorable times, for others it is a so-so period.
 For those at the bottom of the so-so spectrum, the case is even worse.


We understand your pain and that is why we are here to help.
Here is how to overcome in this turbulent time:

1. Focus On Yourself 100%

Appreciate yourself. If someone had told you that by this time a few weeks or months ago, you would not be stronger, you would have never believed it. Consider how much you have grown in thinking, in and most importantly, in reshuffling your priority in what you need in a partner. Also, nothing gives you the opportunity to deeply reflect on this day. Take yourself out, you deserve it.

2. Look On The Bright Side

We understand that a breakup can destroy your love’s outlook. However, if you see yourself as being liberated, it changes your perception. Yes, we understand that you miss all the attention and all that looked like love. Yet, you have to consider if you would rather stay in a relationship where you feel sad and is riddled with disagreements?
And even if it was a good thing, it is over now, don’t stress it.






3.Go Out to have fun Or Go out on a date! Do not allow heartache to make you wait.

Resist the urge to stay alone locked up and wallowing in tears.
Get around some friends and everyone who is emotionally available and have the fun of your lives.
A dinner with those you care about won’t be a bad idea after all.


4. Recognize that you are going through a very big emotional experience.

Be kind to yourself. Take things slowly. Like being sick physically, when your heart's ties are dramatically impacted, it can send us reeling out of balance for awhile. This takes patience and gentleness to get through. It may feel like a good idea, in some cases, to focus on anger and blame, but remember not to go overboard. Ultimately, you chose the path you are walking, and being excessively negative about the circumstances you are going through can make them worse for you.

5. Know that it will change in time. Feelings are like the tide. They come in waves.

This is an important thing to remember. What you are feeling right now will not be the same way forever. Also, it helps to know that these things ebb and flow when a moment of sadness comes up again suddenly. Instead of despairing over how the heartbreaking feeling is back again, try noticing that it must have been gone for a little while for you to notice its return. Take comfort in the fact that you only have to handle what's right in front of you emotionally to be on your way to healing

6. Realize there is a purpose. Heartbreak doesn't happen at random.

There is a message in every pain we experience and nothing hurts us uselessly. Knowing this, you are clued in to see what your feelings are really trying to tell you in order to help your life and heart be better and stronger. It could be that you are hurting because you made a choice to trust in a person or situation that was not right for you, and your feelings are letting you know the peril you were put in. When you get burned, it shows you not to put your hand into the fire.

7. Focus on something else that you love through this time.

8. Keep yourself busy and productive without being impulsive.


9. Lean on your family and friends until the longing ends.

10. Remove from your sight and mind everything your ex-lover has left behind.

11. Find a means of relaxation to lessen the frustration. Make plans to take a vacation in a peaceful location.

 12. Don’t call, text, or email the person who has hurt you. Avoid all contact until you are with 
someone new.


Gifty Powers is married for the 2nd time


Former BBNaija housemate, Gifty Powers is married for the 2nd time to her daughter’s father after denying Mr 2kay as the father.


Gifty made this revelation in an interview with The Vanguard where she mentioned that she is not disclosing the identity of her 2nd husband.


Gifty Powers is married for the 2nd time lailasnews 2

She said:

“Well, a father is one who takes full responsibility of his child, who adores his child, who makes sure that an “ant” never reaches his child’s shoe lace.



So, to answer your question, I’m keeping the identity of my daughter’s father (my husband) because we always protect those we truly love,”

“This is my second marriage and yes, it is official and ordained by God. Well, my first marriage was never official (which I thank God actually).The truth is, everyone is trying to make a name just by playing unnecessary stunts available on ground.

Now, everyone is entitled to their own point of view whether ugly or stupid, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve got lots on my plate, especially now that I have a daughter in my life, that’s my number one priority and it will always be.

But I will cross millions of miles if any soul drags my daughter’s name or tap her unnecessarily, whether knowingly or unknowingly, she’s my life. So any talk is pointless,” she said.

5 Steps To Handle A Divorce


Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the workday and stay productive.

But there are steps you can take to get through this difficult change that will help you push through.


Image result for divorce


Some of which include;

Recognize that it is OK to be scared

It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future and that is okay. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

Give yourself a break

Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you are accustomed to for a little while.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically

Be good to yourself and to your body. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope because they only lead to more problems.




Avoid power struggles and arguments with your Ex

If a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that you both try talking again later and either walk away or hang up the phone to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Don’t involve your children in the conflict

Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids. Don’t use them as spies or messengers, or make them take sides because that will only make matters worse.

credit: guardian

Relationship: 14 Strong Signs That He’s Not That Into You



When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t workout lately , I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that my guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was going to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for.


So, to spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that I didn’t heed, that you can.  

Here they are …

1.) He doesn’t call you when he says he will.

Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while.  But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now.  If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.

2.) He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know.

I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering.  The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late?  That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you.





3.) He’s doesn’t show up at all (and doesn’t call) when you have plans to see him.

OK ladies, unless he was (verifiable) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a “one strike and you’re out” offense.  There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the one above), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you’ll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that’s almost guaranteed to end badly.  Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he’s a lumberjack working in the great North Woods), so this one is unforgivable.

4.) He has rules about how often he can see you.

It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines, but if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn’t realize that you’re the best thing going!).

5.) He knows way more about you than you know about him.

If you find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you ask him something about himself he doesn’t say much, it may be because he’s hiding something or doesn’t want to get too close to you.  Many guys just aren’t big talkers, but if he hasn’t told you the details of where he works, where he grew up, went to school, etc., and if he gives you vague answers when you ask him about these specifics, then that means he’s keeping you at a distance.

6.) You know way more about him than he knows about you.

This one is the flip side to the last warning sign – if he’s so busy talking all about himself, and shows no interest in who you are, what you like to do, or what your idea of the future looks like, this should be a real red flag.  The good news about this one is that there’s no danger of taking it personally – it’s all about him.  It has nothing to do with you – this kind of guy isn’t interested in anyone – but himself.  Steer clear (way clear).

7.) He doesn’t tell anyone about you.

If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, or ask you to hang out with them once in a while, go to a party or get together with them – that’s a sure sign that he’s not sure about the whole thing.  Of course you may not want to hang out with his friends much, particularly if they’re a group of partying bachelors, but they should at least know about you, and it should be your decision.

  How they treat you when you’re around can also be a big tell-tale sign of how things are going or will go – if they kind of treat you like “yeah, you’re the girlfriend of the month, I’ll talk to you if you can make it past week 4”, then that’s a sign of what’s likely to be coming next.

8.) He doesn’t invite you to meet his family – ever.

Of course inviting you to meet the family is a big deal, as it should be, and it doesn’t happen until he feels like this thing is going somewhere.  So that’s just it – if time is starting to drag on, and he still hasn’t invited you to meet his family, the likelihood is that he’s having doubts about the relationship.  There is the outside chance that he’s embarrassed by his family.

I have a good friend whose husband’s family (which consists of his elderly mother and Aunt, who raised him together and still both live together) are essentially, well, mildly deranged.

They look like the stereotypical “bag ladies”, and even showed up for my friends nuptials wearing multiple layers of ragged clothing and carrying some of their belongings in what were essentially re-usable shopping bags.  But he had told her about them fairly early on in their relationship, and she did finally meet them.  And let me say, as far as mildly deranged people go, they’re very sweet (I met them at the wedding), and they did a great job at raising their son/nephew.

So the bottom line is that if the relationship has been going on for some time – just to put a number on it, let’s say over 6 months – and he hasn’t invited you to meet his family yet, it’s certainly time to question him about it.  If he still doesn’t introduce you?  Time to start planning your exit strategy.

9.) He doesn’t spend the holidays with you.

I know there are situations, such as when a divorced man wants to spend time with his children at the family holiday get together, but even then he can make time for you either before or after his family time.  Everyone knows how special holidays are to us women, and if he doesn’t, then that’s a sign of other issues (for example, not being considerate and thoughtful regarding your feelings).  If he’s just taking off on a surf vacation to Bali with his buddies over the holidays because that’s when it’s less crowded, and you’re not invited, then you’re clearly a low priority to him.

10.) He’s got lots of female friends – and makes sure you know this.

In my experience, “platonic” friendships are rarely, if ever, that – there are almost always some feelings in one direction.  Either the guy is secretly harboring feelings for the girl, or vice versa.  And when a guy is in a relationship, he has so much less time to spend with his buddies – why on earth would he ever choose to spend that precious time with another woman?

Well, there are a number of reasons he might, and they all involve one deep seated issue or another, and none of them are good.  And making sure you know about it?  That’s just playing games, and just another reason to get out and find yourself an emotionally healthy man to be in a relationship with.

11.) He doesn’t tell you what he’s doing, where he’s going, or when he’ll be back.

If your guy likes to keep you guessing, there’s a reason.  This is another sure sign that he’s keeping his options open.  In a healthy relationship there’s no hiding or secrets.  If he’s not being open and upfront about his whereabouts, then stop worrying about it – just move on.

12.) He doesn’t talk about his plans for the future with you.

I’m all for living in the moment and enjoying the “now”.  But eventually in a relationship a discussion of future plans has got to come up – otherwise you’ll never know if the two of you are sailing together or heading towards different continents.  If he’s not at least occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his mind, you’re not in it.

13.) He lets you know he had a life without you and he still has a life without you.

I mean, sure, when you’re first dating, it’s interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he’s had with his friends. But if he’s still reminiscing about his single life escapades after your relationship has moved to the next level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you), then the truth is he still wants to be single.  Let him.

14.) You feel like if you could just change yourself and not be so needy, this would all work out.

This is by far the biggest warning sign of all.  If you start to feel that there’s something wrong with you, or you’re doing something wrong that’s causing him to pull away, and maybe if you just gave him more of the freedom he wants, and wait for him quietly, and…well, you get it.  Don’t fall into this trap.  If you want a real relationship, equipped with real feelings, real caring, real consideration, and real romance, and he doesn’t, then he’s not the right guy for you and let him (and yourself) go.

So if you see any of these warning signs, and especially if you see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that’s looking for a real relationship right now – or at least not the kind you’re looking for.  Your best bet is to walk away gracefully, with your self-esteem intact, and not look back (even if he then starts calling you and chasing you – that’s just a sign of a game-player with deeper issues).

 Rather than trying to get him to change or waiting for him to come around, try focusing on you and why you’re in a relationship with someone like this.  If you find yourself in this type of relationship often, which many of us do, it’s time for some real soul searching to get to the root of it.

If you have access to good counseling, take advantage of it, as many times this is the only way to true healing.  And it will be worth it in the long run, to get you past the cycle of toxic relationships so you can move on to the kind of true, sustainable love that you want to attract into your life.

Sometimes it’s hard to see when we’re in it, but know that if you’re settling for less than you deserve, there truly is someone out there ready and waiting to give you what you’re looking for – and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

 It’s in believing in ourselves, trusting our gut instincts and discovering who we really are and what we’re really looking for, that all the other pieces of the puzzle fall into place and we find ourselves finally getting it right and discovering the love of our lives – the one who doesn’t come with any red flags.  And you deserve nothing less than that, no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve been through.

It’s all out there waiting for you!